People connect with our message when they connect with us, when they can feel the depth of who we are. When we feel compelled to share our story with the world, we will have to be vulnerable, we will have to take risks on many levels, but the results can be amazing. Many of you reading this may be feeling a calling to step it up with public speaking, or writing, but at the same time be struggling with the idea that you can actually create an impact.
That is how it is for the best of us. We have all experienced pain and suffering in our life, and when we make a choice to heal that pain and suffering, we put ourselves in a position where we can inspire and uplift others. Sometimes we may be showing people how they too can do it. Sometimes we may simply be the catalyst, someone sees us, hears about where we came from, and they inspired to get up and do the same.
We can spend a lifetime avoiding the pain, or we can shine the light on the pain. It takes courage, but when we do, it is amazing to see what can happen. Your creativity, your book, your song, will arise out of daring to shine the light on the pain.
And we can tell ourselves that our story is not important, or that other people have tougher stories, but that is only the voice of fear holding us back from positively affecting the lives of others. Your life is valuable, it is meaningful. Sometimes you may help just a few others, sometimes you may help thousands, but until you give yourself permission to share your voice, your gift to the world remains hidden.
Look at the courage this young woman embodies in this video. The same spirit that is in her is in you. You have healed pains, you can share how with people in your life. Your voice matters, your courage makes a difference.
That voice of yours is waiting to be heard, waiting to impact a life. You may have the fears, "Am I good enough?", "What if I fail?" These are fears the greatest have had. Through the support of others we can transcend and inspire others. My greatest joy is found in inspiring the people with the most powerful stories to share them. Contact me here for a complimentary coaching session so that you can begin your journey of sharing your message, today. Move beyond the fears and find the self-confidence that exists within you!
“The definition of success is, you can lose everything, and truly be happy with it.”
- Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos, Author of “Delivering Happiness”
We were fed all kinds of images of what success should look like, in all areas of our life. Success in relationships “should” look like this. In order to be considered successful in fitness you “should” look like this. And the corker for many, you are successful when you have x dollars in the bank ( x being a rather larger number than your current status ).
If success has been defined for you a certain way, and after years of pursuing it, you have not achieved it, it can soon begin to feel like failure. You may feel like you are not good enough and never will be. My Gratitude Dance video, and work as a GratiDude has touched and inspired lives around the world, I hear about it often. We did not make the money in that venture that we had anticipated making, and I for one took on feelings of shame of the failure of it for some time afterwards. You may want to be knocking me over the head right now, so was I. That video has been viewed over 450,000 times on youtube, played at events around North America regularly, been featured on Good Morning America, and lead to speaking opportunities around North America. But, because we struggled financially, some part of me chose to focus more on the “failures” than on the lives that it changed and allowing myself to feel successful in any way.
Remember, that what is important in manifesting our desires, is not what the outer “reality” is ( which we do need to accept before we can make changes), but how we feel about it. Someone else may have been in the same position as me and felt on top of the world. Due to my conditioning about money, picked up along the way from society, I did not feel like a success. That is when I made up my mind to change my idea of success. And when I did, I changed how I felt. When we feel successful, we attract more things that make us feel successful. Even in failed relationships, I am able to see successes. Sure, I take the valuable lessons from the failures, but sometimes, what can look like a failure to outsiders looking in, can be a great success to you. A relationship that falls apart because you successfully stand up for the self-respect you desire, can break down and look like a failure to others. But from your perspective it could feel like a great success. It all comes down to perspective.
When we place very high expectations upon feeling successful, we will not feel successful unless that condition is met. In the time it has taken me to repay large debts over the last few years, I have acknowledged the many successes along the way, even though there are still steps to be taken. I am pretty damn happy about the progress.
So, those areas of your life where you are feeling like a failure, take another look. What successes have you experienced in that area? List them all off, take the time to think about it. It doesn’t matter how big or small, because what we focus on expands. We are working on the conditioning of the muscles that get you to look at successes in your life, to build a habit. Now, looking at that list, how do you feel? Are you allowing yourself to embrace some of those successes? Are you able to see more successes than failures when you look at it from this perspective? If you experience resistance to allowing yourself to feel successful
How about making this your affirmation of the week. “I am successful!” Every day take 5 minutes to review the successes you have achieved that day. And every failure you have experienced, seek out the gift. Create a journal and fill it in daily.
“Success should be measured by the yardstick of happiness; by your ability to remain in peaceful harmony with cosmic laws.”
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Earlier this week I was sitting in a mire of confusion, unsure of what the next step to take towards my vision. Not because I did not have any ideas, but because I had too many. And moments after I had a little vent session, an angel in human form stood before me and reminded me that the quality of questions is so important. It is something that I teach, but being caught up in the confusion, I benefitted from the outside perspective. What I got from it was that I still had a better question to ask, and he helped me get to that better question quickly, and since then I can thankfully say that things have been in the flow. This experience has inspired me to write another blog to remind you of the questions you are asking, because sometimes we need a little extra guidance so that we can be asking that great question.
1) Know the vision of where you are going. Focus on the feeling of your vision as you imagine yourself living in it: the lifestyle, the people who surround you, the energies that you want to live in ( peace, happines, vitality, wellness). Get really clear, feel them ( have I stressed how important the feeling is ). What makes you come alive? What are the ways you can best serve people? ( This is often an area where people struggle, they feel confused about what their vision is, or don't believe visioning will do anything for them. I highly recommend a complimentary coaching session if this is you ) Without an idea of where you are going, and the energy you are wanting to experience, you can get confused when making the choices that you are making on your path.
2) Once you have the vision you can begin asking better questions. When we ask a question, our consciousness goes in search of answers, and ascribes meaning to them. The grail quest myths are based upon the question "Whom does the grail serve?" and the knights learn either quickly or slowly, the answer to this one for themselves. We can ask questions that disempower us, such as "What is wrong with me?" or "Why does this always happen to me?". Your mind will usually find answers to these ones quite easily and associate shame with them. Not very empowering. What we want to do is ask questions that move in the direction of the vision for our life and where we want to go. "What can I do differently to step into the highest vision of my life?" is a much more empowering question. "What is the best path that I can take to reach my vision?" Another better question.
3) Get really specific about the questions that you are asking so that you can guarantee getting the answers you are looking for. One of the questions you could be asking is "Who can support me on this vision?" That can still be quite a vague question, though it will get answered. "Who is the best person to support me in the success of my vision?" Can you see how that is a more specific question which will lead you to the answers you are looking for. In the second question you are asking specifically about the success of your vision, and will narrow down your search. Think of it like google, the more specific your question, the better the search results.
4) Refine the questions as your journey unfolds. Through experience we get to learn to ask better questions, because we get greater clarity with every experience we have. For instance 5 years ago I asked the question "Who can support me in becoming a better public speaker?" and people came out of the woodwork. I felt though, that some of them lacked authenticity, or used approaches that were out of alignment with my highest truth, and so I was then able to refine my questions. "Who is the best coach to support me in being the most authentic speaker I can be?" I had to experience the contrast before I got the clarity with the question. After the contrast, I was able to fire off new intentions, and new questions empowered my quest in greater ways.
5) Be open to hearing the answers. Sometimes the answers we get are not the ones our ego likes, but we will usually know whether they are right or not, at an intuitive level. And we will know whether we should take action in the direction of them. The answers usually come quickly, the results come when we decide to take the action. Sometimes the truth of what we need to do can be uncomfortable as it will challenge our greatest fears, and our vision is on the other side of that fear. Sometimes the answers are actually much more favourable than we ever imagined, and that has happened many times on my personal grail quest too.
So, where do you need to start asking better questions? You will be happy that you take yourself through the above steps, as it will save you pain on the journey. You will still experience contrast, but you will come up with better and better questions if you follow these steps. Let me know what your new and empowering question is. Share it in the comments section below.
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One of the most common obstacles to growth is the one around asking for help. Many people continue to struggle, trying to achieve their visions on their own, with various reasons as to why they don't ask for help.
Not asking for help, largely out of pride, left me reeling in large debts a few years ago. I thought I knew it all, and I did not think that anybody would be able to give me advice that I did not know. Boy was I wrong! I may have known a lot at an intellectual level because I had read every book on the market, but, I did not "know" at a cellular level, that this was my truth. And so I stumbled, and fell, until I got up once again, and trusted that there were people who really cared about me and wanted me to achieve my goals. The goals I have achieved in my lifetime were not achieved by myself. They were the result of visible and invisible support that carried me through the most challenging of times, to the most blessed of times.
There are many different reasons why people don’t ask for help.
I truly believe that the ones who make it to the top are not the ones who need the least help, but are actually the ones who have recognised the need for help and have the courage to be truly honest with themselves about this. Knowing that the coach/mentor will give them open honest feedback that will make a huge difference in their life.
Here are some reasons you may not ask for help:
These are all reasons that I have heard from people, for not asking for help. They are common, but are they reasons for you to stay stuck where you are for the rest of your time on earth?
What if you began to look at them from a new perspective. You don't need help, you are not needing fixing. But having someone who sees your potential and can empower you is truly valuable to us all! I have my go to resources, people who provide me with support and guidance where I need it.
So here is why I think you would benefit from finding help from someone.
There is greatness seeking to express through you in the world. Through your devotion to self-realization, with appropriate guidance, you bless the world. Don't let your fear of not asking for help stop you making that difference......PLEASE!!!!!
Know anyone else that may benefit from this? Share this blog with them on your facebook or twitter page today. It may be just what they need!
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Tim: "Follow. But. Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth."
King Arthur: "What an eccentric performance."
This scene in "Monty Python And The Holy Grail" can be a warning to us all. We think it is harmless, but what is the belief system that will take you off your quest? What are the fears and the doubts? The best thing to do is avoid what some of these knights did, and be willing to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it could just make the difference on your journey. Click here to find out how I can help you on your Grail Quest and avoid getting into the mess these chaps did.
I was filming the following blog for you, but my video camera failed to record. Ironic, since I am taking you through tapping on the fear of failure. If you haven't experienced this fear, then I respect the level of enlightenment you have reached. If you do experience this fear, and it is paralysing your efforts to work on that project that you have always wanted to do, then it's time to tap! It will reduce the paralysing effects of the fear, but you will still have to take the action at some point.
First: On a scale of 1-10, how big is your fear of failure? 1 being, no fear, 10 being paralysed by it, and you cannot take the next step.
Now lets change that a bit with some EFT.
Here is a reminder of the points that you are tapping on. If you don't remember anything about EFT or I have not taken you through it, jump on to www.TheTappingSolution.com where you can download a booklet and hear various experts talk about it.
It may be that not all the statements resonate with you, so you can focus on the ones that have the most charge for you.
"Even though I have this fear of failure and I am afraid of letting others down, I completely and deeply love and accept myself"
"Even though failure is normal to me, I feel shame about my failures, I don't know what success feels like, I completely and deeply love and accept myself"
"Even though I am working so hard, and not getting anywhere, there is no point in trying again, I completely and deeply love and accept myself"
INSIDE EYEBROW: I have this fear of failure
OUTSIDE EYEBROW: I am afraid of letting them down
UNDER EYE: Failure is normal to me
UNDER NOSE: I feel so much shame about failure
CHIN: I work so hard
COLLAR BONE: I am so tired of working all the time without results
UNDER ARM: I don't know what success feels like
TOP OF HEAD: I never seem to get anywhere
INSIDE EYE: What is the point?
OUTSIDE EYE: I will just fail again.
UNDER EYE: And failure has cost me so much in the past.
UNDER NOSE: I don't want to feel that shame again.
CHIN: I have this fear of failure.
COLLAR BONE: It is stopping me from doing what I know I need to do
UNDER ARM: I am so hard on myself when I fail.
TOP OF HEAD: I keep failing, and don't want to do it again.
So you can spin around those points a few times, until the energy behind them drops until they feel like a 1 at the most. And once that is in, you can follow up by tapping in some of the following positive statements.
INSIDE EYEBROW: I am kind to myself when failure happens.
OUTSIDE EYEBROW: I am willing to find the spiritual lesson in my failures.
UNDER EYE: I allow myself to make failures, knowing they are stepping stones to success.
CHIN: Just because it didn't work before, doesn't mean it won't work this time.
COLLAR BONE: I allow success in my life, and will take note of the little and the large successes.
UNDER ARM: I will get what I want in divine timing.
TOP OF HEAD: I deserve success, and I will succeed.
The above points can be tapped in a few times more, and you can add in ones of your own, affirmations if you like. This exercise may have brought up other thought patterns, and we can work one-on-one if you want to tackle any of them. You may benefit from doing this daily as you work on your big project, step into a new relationship, or begin a new fitness program. Hopefully you will feel lighter, and inspiration for action will come flooding in to your awareness!
I have an aunt who has been spending years working on a book and felling like she was going around in circles. She spent some time doing some EFT like the one above and I have been amazed at the progress she has been making in recent months, she is on fire with the book, and it is awesome to see.
Contact me for further sessions if you want to go deeper with this.
We all have different gifts, which we are here to share with the world. Too many of us learned to keep them secret, believing society did not value them, or worse, that we would be persecuted for sharing them. How many gifts have you shut down in yourself because you did not feel good enough? Those gifts can range from painting, drawing and writing, to the gifts I believe we all have, of intuition, sensitivity and psychic abilities, which certain elements of society have deemed bad or a weaknesses of character.
After a life changing accident at 14 years of age, I experienced some interesting awakenings within myself , of gifts associated with my sensitivity. I did not share them with friends for the longest time out of a fear of persecution, from the science minded skeptics and from the religious folks, living in a society known for their stiff upper lips. Maybe it has been lifetimes of persecution that lead me to do this, cellular memories I have not yet allowed myself to visit, but I felt I needed to shut them down, to ignore them, in order to protect myself. In time I began to see the great gift in my sensitivity, as well as meet the challenges that come with that gift.
Some of the gifts we possess are freely acknowledged by society, but we are not encouraged to explore them because of the “pipe dreams” associated with them. Instead of following our gifts and passions we have been encouraged to follow the safe routes associated with security. Some of the gifts are ones that are completely misunderstood by large parts of society, gifts of a more spiritual nature. And yet they are gifts that others think are no big deal, because they are a part of their daily experience. Experiences that modern science research, such as that conducted through the world reknowned organisation IONS ( Institute Of Noetic Sciences ), has studied extensively.
The veil is thinning, and more and more people are coming through remembering past lives. Ian Stevenson of Chicago University has studied some of these in great detail, ruling out all the frauds and deluded individuals. And as a result many people remember a time when their gifts were not accepted, where they were persecuted for them. TImes are changing, and yet we find we need great courage to stand up and be ourselves in the world. Those who have the courage experience great blessings.
The gift of intuition is incredibly valuable to each of us, and though it may not always be welcomed by others, we need to welcome it in ourselves if we want to make the best choices in our life. Our intellect and our intuition can work together in harmony to create the whole minded individuals who bring great change, geniuses such as Albert Einstein, known for his many quotes of a spiritual nature. When we listen to our intuition, we make choices that are in the highest good of everyone involved. Too many of us have experienced painful life experiences when we placed greater faith in others, or our old conditionings. Our intuition may need to be trained up again, something which meditation practices, such as Kriya Yoga, can do for us.
The gift of creativity in its many guises is another underused gift, and when nurtured is truly a benefit to many people. Our creativity may not have been received by others when we were kids, or may have even been stamped out of us as a result of our schooling, but it is a gift that we have been blessed with that will change the world, sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways. When we can learn to give that gift without expectation, as an embodiment of our gratitude for that gift, we become free. Give yourself permission to express that gift freely.
Whatever gifts you possess- creativity, artistic flare, psychic abilities, clairaudience, intellectual genius – don’t hold them back any longer. You have been blessed with these gifts because the world needs them in some way at this time. Maybe a handful of people will benefit from your gift, maybe it is the world at large. Either way, it is you who gives permission to yourself to share that gift. Don’t worry about what certain people will think of that gift, imagine the many lives that you can enhance with it.
“I share my gifts without expectation. It is safe for me to share my gifts with the world.”Have the confidence to unwrap your gifts for the world, be seen and be heard. I am available for coaching sessions throughout the week, and I will happily give you a free session so that you can determine whether I am a match for you or not. Click here for more information.
Do you ever get intuitive insights in meditation, or in fleeting moments, that you have never read in a book? And then found that nobody in your circle believed you when you shared them?
"Intuition means "soul-perception." It shows the difference between true and false reasoning. Errors are made by people who fail to distinguish between a real "hunch" or intuition, and their conceptions born of intellect, experience, or blind belief."
- Paramhansa Yogananda
Especially when it comes to health and fitness. There are so many books out there with conflicting information. I believe the truth is that they all work for certain people. Experts are correct for certain people. The raw diet works for certain people, and makes others sick. The Body For Life fitness program has been the metabolic booster for some, and not for others.
Tuning into your own internal guidance system will guide you in helping to make the right choice for you. I therefore believe that learning to trust your bodies own intuition is foundational to enjoying living in your body. As long as you rely solely on another persons belief system, you sacrifice your own self.
What has happened when you have tuned out your intuition? Have you found yourself making choices that didn’t work for you and then ended up blaming someone else?
This has happened many times in my life. I learned to tune out my intuition because there was nobody around me who validated what I was saying. And then I would pick up a book and the hairs on my body would stand on end as I read something that I had felt intuitively for a long time.
It becomes a lifelong practice of discernment. When two conflicting opinions are provided by two experts, tuning into your intuition will guide you to understanding what is right for you.
We will always find someone else who can validate an insight that we have had. Where our courage comes is in being able to trust that insight for ourselves and acting on it when we don't have it outside of ourselves, and be willing to risk being wrong.
We are not taught this in school. Yet, if our intuition is fostered in the school system then more people would grow up listening to their own internal guidance, and not solely to the steadfast opinions of another individual which are open to error.
What have you picked up intuitively that you have not read in a book yet? Or that you disagree with in a book that you have read, or expert that you have listened to.
Trusting our intuition comes through a process of deep practice of meditation, and the clearing of the emotional toxins and beliefs that prevent us from hearing that intuition.
We have no need to prove our intuitive insights to others, for they may never believe them, but we can choose to act upon them, and explore where it may lead.
The truths that others know intuitively for themselves on their path may not be the same ones that will work for you. Even as you read this, meditation afterwards will allow you to know the truth in it for you. Kriya Yoga has been the path that has opened up my intuition more than any other I have experienced, you will know if it is yours ( especially if someone else just mentioned it to you yesterday).
How much have you relied on your trained intellect over and above your intuition?
How much do you rely on intuition to guide you the intellectual truths for you on your path?
What stops you from trusting your intuitive insights?
Please share your thoughts, comment in the comment box below. Share your experiences with listening to your intuitive awareness. How has it differed from what authority figures told you growing up. Have you ever felt mislead by your intuition?
Find out how Matthew can serve you to tuning into your intuition and allowing it to guide you on your personal path. Through his coaching people have improved all areas of their life and found greater levels of happiness. Click here to see what others have said and contact him directly here .
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