You are an energy healer, or holistic health practitioner. You have a skillset that you know will benefit the world, and yet you find yourself struggling to make ends meet, you find yourself trading with people all the time, you feel that people don't value what you know and you don't get paid what you know you are worth.
It's a common story. Don't worry. But you may not like me when I say that you are likely getting in your own way and that you are the one who owns the power to change that story. Many people are rejecting themselves before they ever get rejected by society. This can go way back for people in the healing arts. Watch the series Psychic Kids and you will see kids fearing rejection by their peers, afraid to freak them out, and therefore keep their healing skills quiet. I have not been trained as a healer, at least not in this life, but I have worked with and coached many over the years. Here are some ways to get past the fear of rejection, and actually learn great things from them.
1) Value what you know. If the people in your life do not seem to value what you know, you are either not demonstrating the value, or they are just not open enough to benefit from your gifts. That is not your fault, and it will only cause you pain if you continue to try persuading them of the value when they don't want to believe. The unseen world still frightens a lot of people and that is ok. Find those who believe and support you, and are at the very least curious about what you do. You won't find them by staying in your comfort zone, new people are out there waiting to meet you. You have to value what you do. Value what you know, believe in what you know, even in the face of disbelief from others. When you value what you know, you will be able to stand up for what you believe in, even in the face of adversity. When you do that, you are a beacon of belief, and those who will value you, will be drawn to you. But, you will have to let them know you are in the world and ready to serve them, otherwise they will find themselves drawn to other visible healers who own their value.
2) You will be able to release the rejections, because you find out where you are accepted. Many folks who practice energy healing believe in reincarnation, and are carrying around past life traumas. Definitely going to someone who can help release these will be beneficial to you, as those traumas do affect our unconscious. But nothing will replace the courage that you need to find in yourself to risk it all again in this lifetime, and that is what is needed to overcome any fear. Many who practice and are successful experienced similar traumas in past lives, but are marching on regardless, and living untouched and happily. I can relate, I was made aware of past life traumas by others and have been asked to step out and change the story. The past does not equal the future. You can protect yourself from ever experiencing rejection, or you can put yourself out there, get rejected from time to time, not take it personally, and find the people who love what you offer. If you are applying for a job, the odds are that 1 in 10 people will respond to your approaches. It is similar when marketing your own business too. Either way you will be facing it, so wouldn't you rather face it doing what you love? I am not saying you won't need a job to support you at times, but keep working towards your passion at the same time.
3) Get clear on who you want as clients. Every experience with somebody who provides you with contrast is a gift, and every rejection is a gift to help you get clearer on who you want to work with. Build your list of contrast and then flip it over to what you want. Let go of your judgements of those who don't understand, or refuse to understand, or you will continue to attract them in to your world. Then beam out requests from the universe for those you want to attract to your work.
Don't Want Do Want
Close minded open minded
Don't believe in energy healing are open to at least experiencing energy healing
Not willing to do the inner work passionate about doing their inner work
don't value what I do value what I do and are willing to pay for it.
not taking responsibility for self fully taking responsibility for self
Then, do some soulstorming. Where would you find these people? They are out there beyond facebook. They are at group homes, transition centres, spiritual centres, select schools, emergency services. You will find it surprising just who is open to it, and how open they are. In the process you will probably discover, if anything, that you may have been more close-minded than you thought.
4) Put yourself in situations that scare you a little. I know some healers put out messages to the higher selves of those who they will serve, and wait for them to come. They usually end up waiting a long time if they are not taking any action. Many people will only come when they know you do what you do, when you have declared to the world your skills, even when it scares you. You have a powerful intuition, this is where it is important to listen to it. Your intuition will guide you where you need to go, and it may scare you. A healer I know was looking for unrelated work recently when she was put on the spot and persuaded to talk about her healing work, at much discomfort to her. It lead to the creation of a new opportunity and additional exposure for her healing practice, something she had never expected. It also reaffirmed for her the value of what she knows and does, and that people in the world do value and appreciate it. Ask yourself a question: "Who is the best person for me to talk to so that I can build my healing business?" Then, trust your intuition, and act on it, even, and especially, if it scares you. You have put out a request to the universe for what you want, and the universe rewards us when we face our fears. Trust yourself, and take the action you are called to take. Then see how much better of a match you attract.
5) Learn how to demonstrate the value of what you do. A common mistake is that people tell others what they do, and they share the features of it ie) the methods used. What your potential customer wants to know is the benefits of it to them in their life. Will it help them reduce something? eg) anxiety or pain. Will it help to release anything? eg) toxins or toxic emotions. The more conversations you have, the more times you risk rejection, the better you will get at knowing what it is that people respond well to. Interview those you have served, and find out what benefits they enjoy, it may surprise you. There is a whole art to this and is the subject of future blogs and events. If they need scientific proof, your science may not be enough, but there are plenty of peer reviewed studies which now show the benefits of energy healing. Include a wealth of information on your websites, offer group healings which are more affordable, and give information subjects. The more you believe in your art, and you, without the need to argue your case, but standing up for it, the more you will find yourself persuading people to hop on your table. Be prepared to make mistakes, to say the wrong thing, to trigger a firm non-believer. In time, without attachment to the results, you will find that you learn lots, and become better at getting across your message to the right people.
You have great skills, knowledge, awareness, and gifts and I want to see people in the world benefiting from them. And they will not be benefitting if you are sitting at your computer resenting the fact that nobody is responding to your energetic calls. We are here to meet people, to overcome fears, to learn lessons, and to experience the joy of life, and that comes when we step out of our comfort zone and challenge our deepest fears. If this is you, maybe you are ready to be accountable to someone who can support you on the path to your greatness.
"Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy."
- Denis Waitley
The fear of failure is often actually a mask for the fear of success. To many people it doesn’t seem to make sense that there would be such a thing as the fear of success when you want to achieve a goal so much. But our unconscious mind holds thoughts from times gone by that can be creating fear of future successes. Instead of beating yourself up for sabotaging your progress, listen deeply within to the fears that are hiding beneath the surface, causing you to sabotage your success. This is the reason we need to seek out the gift in our mistakes and failures, they illuminate our unconscious fears. If you have trouble hearing them, speak with a coach who will be able to help you identify them easily enough.
You may fear that giving a voice to your fears will actually give them energy and attention. In reality what happens is you are then aware of them, and can shine the light of awareness on them. Old thoughts can be gradually replaced by new thoughts. The fears will never disappear completely, but through the courage of your heart you will notice them having less of a hold on your life, becoming pebbles instead of rocks. The new thoughts will begin to gain strength and become louder than the old ones.
Ignoring the fears when they surface, pretending you don't have them, or thinking that they only exist in others, will only result in them playing out underneath the surface, creating resistance to the goal you are setting out to achieve. The Law of Attraction does not respond to what we are thinking, but to how we feel about what we are thinking. So, if you are unconsciously fearing something, but not allowing yourself to aknowledge it, you can end up creating more resistance for yourself. It is OK to feel fear. And you don't need to challenge or discover every fear now. As you take action towards your goal, the fears will surface for you to challenge them, and you can meet them with courage.
In my time of jotting fears down over the years, I have noticed many in myself. They are ones that have surfaced in those I have coached and spoken to at events everywhere.
- fear of disapproval and not pleasing people.
- belief that success comes before a fall.
- fear of being successful but unhappy.
- people will place too many expectations on my shoulders.
- fear of abundance because of the family beliefs that we grew up with about abundance and prosperity.
- fear of criticism.
The list could go on. All of these are a result of old thought patterns still running the show. Thoughts that had a strong emotional component attached to them. I have moved through many of them, but periodically an unconscious fear becomes conscious. And with an awareness of the records that are playing, I can begin to create new records, thoughts that help me create myself anew, such as the following:
I approve of myself, I release the need to please everyone, and listen to my intuition with every choice I make.
I allow myself to succeed.
I am successful and happy.
I am abundant and enjoy my prosperity.
I am immune to critcism.
With persistence, a strong desire, and an allowing heart, you can imagine in to being the person you want to become. That person will still have fears surface from time to time, but they will not paralyse, they fuel your success.
F.E.A.R = Feeling Excited And Ready
Allow yourself to hear your fears, listen to what they have to say. You could find that an experience from when you were a child still has a hold over you, and a part of your childhood consciousness has been locked in time, waiting to be freed by awareness. And when it is freed, watch out world!
The best way to transcend the fears, is to walk with them. Write that book. Call that person. Launch that product. Make that investment. The fears will present themselves, but your actions and awareness will bring about new results.
Study the lives who are successful in any venture and you will see that many of them took very similar steps within themselves to begin to bring about the vision they had for their work. Those who have written and created successful book businesses, have followed similar steps. Their outer journey may have looked very different, some going the traditional route, some self publishing, but they had to overcome similar internal obstacles, and create clarity of purpose along the way.
Here are some key steps that I have taken to succeed in ventures in my life, which I have seen in authors who have enjoyed great success.
1) Conjure up a vision of success in your imagination. We need to imagine who it is that we want to be when we have the success our heart desires. Many authors get caught up noticing the lives of failed or struggling authors and telling themselves that they do not want to be that. Use the contrast that they are presenting you, to get clear on the kind of author you want to be. If you notice how few people are mking money with their books, out of your fellow authors, then you need to spend your time imagining yourself making money with it. Your imagination is powerful, it has concocted a book, now it is time to concoct a successful book business. Using your imagination to create a vision of success in your mind does not guarantee that it happens, but the more your subconscious mind believes it is a reality, the more action you will find yourself taking in the direction of that vision and with passion, persistence and patience, you can make it happen.
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
2) Eliminate the mind viruses that tell you that you cannot have it so that you can align your thoughts and feelings with that vision. You know the ones I am talking about, they are the beliefs you have picked up along the way such as, “Writers don’t make money” “You need to get a real job”. These mind viruses stack up against your vision and will drag you down if you allow them. When your belief is aligned with “Writers don’t make money”, you will see writer after writer who is not making money. When you open yourself to the possibility that you can make money as a writer, new realities will present themselves. Start telling yourself and your doubters, “I am learning ways to make money as a writer”. And, if you have the strength to imagine a world far from the current reality you exist in, say with conviction “I am a successful author”. Your ego and the world around you may come up and tell you that this is false, but the truly successful authors believed it in themselves before it happened. I saw myself on national TV before the request from Good Morning America popped up. One of the most fun moments in my life, which revealed how powerful we can truly be, was when I watched myself doing the Gratitude Dance on the big screen in Times Square as the show cut back from commercials.
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”
- Muhammad Ali
3) Ask better questions. I am all about this! Most people screw up and ask themselves, “What am I doing wrong?” “Why do I keep screwing up?” and then are surprised when they find lots of reasons to believe they are wrong and make themselves feel worse. Questions such as “What do I need to change within myself to become a successful author?” are going to yield an altogether different kind of answer. Your brain is very obedient, you ask it a good question and it will find you the answer that empowers you. You ask it a bad question and it will obediently make you feel worse. Good questions to ask: “What is the gift in this challenge?” “What can I do differently next time?” “How can I serve greatly today?”
“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
- Tony Robbins
4) Stay in gratitude and appreciation. If you are doing all the above, then you are setting yourself up for a good journey, and even when the proverbial S#$@ hits the fan, you will be able to pull yourself back on course. And along the way, the expressions of gratitude and appreciation will keep you recognising what you do have: the support, the customers who like you, the daily lessons of empowerment, the publishers you work with, the money in the bank, and all other good things. It keeps you humble and it keeps you on track. What are you grateful for today? Take 1 minute to write a list, you will feel happier at the end of it, and will be able to carry on your work day with just a little more energy.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
- Albert Schweitzer
Outlined are the daily steps that the successful people take. It does not provide all the answers, and you are going to have to be willing to change who you are ( your vision would already be a reality if you were already that person). If you are prepared to do that, then there is no reason you cannot have the success you desire. It is a small percentage of authors who are willing to face that challenge, but when they do the rewards are great. I plan on being one of them, do you?
When it comes to money and our ways of making it, we need to challenge destructive belief patterns as we step out in to the world of working for ourselves, where money is observed as one expression of value between two people. Beliefs that prevent us making the money we need to sustain ourselves in the current set up of the world, beliefs that cause us to sabotage our great work. We will not challenge those belief systems if we continue to get our advice from those who are playing out the self same destructive patterns.
When I started becoming aware of my desire to make money in business I sought out the wisdom of those who ran business. And as I became aware of how they thought differently, I came up against opposing thoughts from those I had known the longest. They were simply mirroring back to me my old thought patterns, which is why I was feeling the angst. As long as I claimed it as "their" belief it would cause me angst, as soon as I owned it as my own subconscious belief I had the power to change it. And as I walked further down the path I found myself at odds even with original teachers, as I discovered money mentors who were coming from a place that resonated with me more at the core of my being as I evolved on my own path. Every belief has served us well at some point in our life, but there comes a time when it is worth challenging it.
There are thousands of beliefs that we can hold about money that hinder us on our path to making money in business. Here are some examples of ones that I have seen in those I have worked with over the years, and a challenge to them.
"It takes money to make money."
This belief is what has us searching for investors for our business, not taking action right where we are at, or working with the networks of people we already know. What it takes is a belief in the services you offer, getting out and talking to people to tell them how you can serve them or people they know, and a passion for what you do. You could find yourself with no money to your name, but as long as you subscribe to the above thoughts, you can make waves right where you are at. You will begin to make money that you can then invest back in to your business to make more money. It definitely helps your business when you have money, but it is not needed to begin the process of making it. You can create a website for free, set up a paypal account to receive money from people, post freed ads online, host free events for people where you share your services. The list is endless, but you will not know this unless you can believe for yourself that it takes creativity, passion, imagination, focus, determination, and other qualities intrinsic to who you are, to make money.
"Money is the root of all evil."
In the wrong hands money can be used to perform evil acts, there is no denying it. But it is equally a source of great support to many who are walking higher roads. I can think of many organisations who are using money to do great good in the world. Money itself is an inanimate object. It is not good or bad. It is the consciousness of the person who is in charge of the money that makes it good or evil. If this is a belief that is holding you back, then you really need to focus on who you are to become when you have money. Decide for yourself who you want to be. And when you seek out money and business mentors, seek out those who are already being that. You can be someone who is out to serve the world, to make it a better place, and recognise that money is a tool that will help support you in creating that reality.
"Money is not spiritual."
This one held me back for years. Many spiritual organisations have very strong dogma about money and the purity of the poor man, and yet many of them have lots of money themselves. Their hypocrisy can confuse followers, it definitely confused this author as a young man. When it becomes apparent that holding on to money and power can be a problem for these religions, it can cause us to question the mix of money and spirituality. The truth of it is that many spiritual organisations of high integrity are supported by money. It is how they obtain it that says more about who they are at the core. It is a reality of this world, at this time in history, that money supports us. We may see a time when money is not needed, and I know there are many groups seeking to create this. There are arguments proposed on all sides when it comes to attitudes towards, and the meaning of, wealth, and often backed by quotes from scriptures. I challenge you to seek the truth within yourself. If you are refusing money in your life, that would help you to enhance your spiritual mission, are you clinging on to a belief that does not work for you? At the same time, have you convinced yourself that money is so spiritual that you seek it above the greatness that resides within your heart space. If you see yourself as a steward of spirits money, you may take a whole new outlook on your relationship with it.
Money is the visible sign of a universal force, and this force in its manifestation on earth works on the vital and physical planes and is indispensible to the fullness of the outer life. In its origin and its true action it belongs to the Divine.”
"I don't have enough."
The belief of not having enough is at the centre of greed and poverty. There are people with millions of dollars in their bank who feel they don't have enough money, are always looking for more, and are consumed by greed. And there are also those with millions of dollars in their bank who know they have enough, and share it amongst the world. There are those who have very little in their bank account who believe they don't have enough, and make this a reality for themselves, constantly struggling. Then there are broke people who can walk around with a smile on their face, knowing that they always have enough of everything that they need, and are self sufficient, and magically seem to create whatever they need. So it has a bit to do with the actual circumstances that you find yourself in, but a lot to do with your perception of that reality. The belief that there is not enough is the root of the poverty in the world, and it is something that we are facing on a grand scale at this time. You can do your part by challenging thoughts of poverty within yourself. What if you spent more time and attention giving focus to what you do have, right here, right now, in gratitude? When more of us come from this place, and inspire the same attention from others, it can work wonders in the world.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
"It is hard for me to make money."
I worked with a new author who was struggling to sell even one copy of her book. After a short while discussing it with her I realised that she had the belief, passed down generation after generation, that it was difficult for her to make money. We did some EFT on this belief and began to challenge it with a new thinking. The next day she sold two books. It can be fun and easy to make money, but we have to be willing to allow ourselves to have this experience. It is one that I have struggled with in my past, and every so often I have to be aware of what I am acting on. The other thing about this is that we create a belief that we don't deserve the money if we didn't work hard for it, because we haven't earned it with blood, sweat and tears. This prevents people doing things like affiliate promotions on their sites, which can help them make money while they sleep. I love when I receive checks for things that were simply a referral fee, as a result of someone placing an order on someone's website because of an email I sent that shared something of value. When we believe it is hard to make money, we are not even aware that these exist as an option. At the same time, when you love what you do, you will be willing to do the hard work to get there. But there is difference between hard work because you love something so much, and hard work that adds to your suffering. And it is also advisable to be aware when you are even making the work you love, harder than it needs to be.
"Money is worthless."
There is no shortage of information on the internet about the fabrication of money out of nothing, leading many to see only worthlessness in it. It can be given way too much worth by some, and not given enough worth by others. This is why it continues to remain a testy area for so many in life. What I have seen is that when people believe that money is worthless though, that they do not value it in their life, end up getting rid of it quickly, and are soon back to struggling. I know many who are successfully living off the grid, who are self sufficient, and have no need for money. But we are not all at that point, and may not be for a while. So while we make the choice to live on the grid, to use electricity, to pay bills, to pay for education, then it has worth in our lives. Resolving the conflict between thinking it is worthless, but knowing that it pays the bills, will help you to find the clear path for you in your relationship with money. Money does not define your worth, and at this time it is a needed expression of value for many of us. Decide where you lie in this spectrum and decide whether you want to make money worthwhile or not. Let people live the way they want to live, and experience their own lessons, and focus on who you are being called to become. Believe it is worthless and you will treat it as such. Believe it is worthwhile and you may go on to help create a money system or greater worth in the world.
"You have to be pushy to sell stuff."
The fear of being pushy stops many gifted talents from stepping out the door. It is true, if you look out in to the world at large you will see many people pushing to get something in to your hands, you can tell they just want the money. Heck, I have been that person and I hated myself for it. But, who are the people that you buy from? Chances are they are not that pushy person. Chances are they offered you value, a service you believed in, and gave you good vibes. These are the people to learn from, these are the ones who are coming from a place of service, and making money doing what they love. The pushy ones may be focused on the money as the primary objective, and don't care what you think about them. Those who are selling you something because they care enough to see you have something you love, don't have to be pushy to make a sale. In order to sell you have to offer value, you need to trust yourself so that you make the right choices for the people you serve, you have to believe in yourself in the face of rejection, and you have to be willing to ask people for money. It is behind asking for money that you will also uncover a whole whack of other subconscious money beliefs but that is to be left for another day.
Becoming aware of our destructive belief patterns is one thing, but releasing them is another. If we were to address every destructive belief that we have about money we would spend our whole lifetime doing it, and that would take up a lot of time. Thankfully, I believe that when we allow it, we get support from a higher power in releasing them. But, for those that we do become aware of, we have the power to be able to change them, through methods such as self-hypnosis, the Emotional Freedom Technique, Psych-K, and others which help bring about the cellular shift. The old beliefs have been conditioned in to us over a lifetime, but thankfully it won't take a lifetime to adopt a new belief. However, because it may have taken 1000 repetitions of the thought to embody it in our subconscious, it will often take more than the awareness alone to make the change.
Rather than telling you what to believe, I would advise you to meditate on the words above, discern your own truth, and see what you come up with for a constructive belief pattern to replace the old ones. I would love to hear what you come up with!
I have been in places in my life where I have put too much value on money, and others when I have put too little value on it. I struggled unnecessarily with it. I went to wealth courses where I was simply focused on making more money which left me still feeling as though I was missing something. I went to others that helped me to feel more complete. I believe that we need to challenge the money beliefs that are preventing us from sharing our work with the world, and at the same time to listen to our heartspace. As much as we can do ourselves harm from listening only to ourselves, many have hurt themselves more listening to those who valued money and power over all else. This is your life, you need to trust yourself enough to trust what others are telling you, and to know when they are shoving ideas down your throat that are incongruent with who you are at the core of your being.
What I have covered is really only the tip of the iceberg of a highly charged topic. Please feel free to add your comments and insights below. If these are something that you are willing and ready to challenge, then I suggest setting up a complimentary coaching session where we can determine what may be holding you back from finding peace with the subject of money.
The energy of shame is one that we can allow ourselves to wallow in and believe that we deserve, or is one that we can ignore altogether, stuff down and wait until it creates havoc in our lives. Or it can even be one we are willing to shine the light of awareness on to create more self love in our life. When you are feeling "not good enough" about any aspect of your being, you are tuning in to the vibration of shame.
The vibration of shame is low, it is not in alignment with the vibration of abundance, happiness self-love, or peace. So, if you are still feeling shame about anything in life, know that it is pushing away that which you wish to manifest, or ability to help others, and reinforces the feeling within you that you are not good enough. And of course that shame pours over in to all areas of life. Many will hide it under a strong sense of pride, only to have it show itself at the worst possible time. It is much better to find the courage within you to love it and find the gift in it.
Releasing our shame means we have to be willing to face it and be vulnerable to another. Vulnerable to someone who can serve our highest good and lead us out of it when we can't seem to ourselves. Choose wisely! We don't want to share our shadow with someone who could use it against us, we need to share with someone who can offer us the compassion and understanding we need, someone whose answers we respect, and someone who is strong enough to tell us the changes that we need to make. In the same way, we are not going to be served by someone who simply tells us how loved and good we are, and does not challenge us to become better. At the same time, many people find that they are actually shaming themselves far more than anyone else would, having known only self-criticism all their life. That is why it is important not to listen to our fears, but to quiet the mind and seek out the best support that we can.
If we dance around our shame, and pretend that it is not there, or stuff it down, we can end up creating more and more situations for which we feel shameful. In meeting that shame head on, with an attitude of love and solution oriented questioning, anchored in our own divine awareness, it can be released and the gift found. I remember the first time a mentor of mine helped me realise that what I was feeling was shame. Until that time I had known that it felt different to guilt, sadness or depression, but had been unable to pinpoint what it was and was afraid to go in and feel it. And I was not feeling supported by those who I felt had not understanding of what I was feeling. By giving myself permission to feel it, I was able to find out why I felt the shame, the belief behind it, and to challenge it and move beyond it. Shames about not being able to take care of myself, to support myself. They were only causing me to do more of the same. It had to do with the sense of failure I felt about myself.
One reason that I see over and over with the people I coach is the shame they place upon themselves for failures of the past that they refuse to let go of. There is a big difference between "I have failed in the past" to "I am a failure". The first is something that happens to all of us, the second is something that we choose to tell ourselves that we are and boxes us in to certain experiences in life. The most successful people speak quite fondly of their failure, knowing that when they sought out the gifts, they were valuable to the growth of their business. When you believe that you are a failure you will not allow yourself to experience success, for you have deemed yourself a failure. And so you may not fear failure at all, because it is all you have allowed yourself. And deep down the truth is that you feel shame for your past failures. Feeling shame for them continues to perpetuate the belief that we are not good enough. Instead, treat the shame as an emotion that is trying to tell you that you have still not found the gift or lesson in that failure. Release the shame ( find someone who can support you and help you identify that shame ). Ask yourself a question: "Who is the most appropriate person to support me in the finding the gift in this situation?" And commit to allowing yourself to know success "I am willing to allow myself to be successful. I will keep working on this until I succeed." Encourage yourself onwards, for you are really the only voice you listen to all the time.
The feeling of not feeling good enough is shame, and it will prevent us from aligning with the life that we want. Feeling anger about our situation is a step up from shame, because at least we are then acknowledging where we are at and can help us focus on who we want to become instead. You are good enough, you were born good enough, and any shame you feel is a result of judgement you were conditioned in to. Some of the words you hear from others may be true, maybe you could be a bit more active, maybe you could support yourself a little more. Sometimes the shame can be projections from others and you need to be aware of that, for it has more to do with another persons interpretation. Many who work a traditional 9 til 5 do not understand the challenges of running a business, and so have no place in shaming you on matters related to that. They do not always understand the time it takes to build a business, or the immense change in mindset needed to build it.
Control of society has been achieved by guilting and shaming people and so it will feel a little uncomfortable as you challenge some of the concepts, but it will free you. Seek out the support of someone who understands shame, and can help you find the gift in it. They will also be able to help you see where you are shaming yourself that you are unaware of. You will find you are much happier in life, whether you are poor or wealthy, busy or quiet at work, failing or succeeding, when you release the hold of shame on your life. You deserve love and compassion, and when you can give it to yourself, you will find the gift hiding behind the shame you have felt. And that is a very powerful kind of freedom when you can live from that place.
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