If you spend a lot of time working from home, then you need to set up your environment, and your lifestyle within it, to be conducive to the flow of good vibes in to your business, and the rest of your life. Otherwise your health will suffer, and as a result your magnetism in business.
Something a lot of business professionals neglect, is the environment that they create for themselves when working. A recent visit with my friends at Boomers Wellness reminded me of the importance of this, especially for those of us who are very sensitive, intuitive, or psychic, who are highly affected by an unsafe environment and all the electromagnetic waves in the atmosphere.
Here are some tips that I can offer all writers and home business owners:
1) Have your work space separate to your sleeping space. I have lived in situations where this has not been possible and it has been agonising. Working, sleeping, and meditating in the same room with little room to move. It has allowed me to appreciate more greatly the times when I am able to do this. Too many business people take their work to bed with them, which can really irritate the partner, because they are never letting go of work. Again this comes from personal experience. Many of my clients have reported lying awake with their worries and having too easy access to their computer. Do what you can to create a sleep space, a work space, an exercise space and a meditation space. Tell me how you feel after doing that!
2) Get as much daylight as you can or make the most of the advanced technologies that do their best to mimic this. Our body benefits from natural lighting, dawn til dusk. Unfortunately many of us do not leave our homes throughout the day, coaching and working with people via the internet or phone, or labouring over our writing opus. Our sleep is affected as a result. There are lighting technologies that are designed to expose us to the correct light frequencies throughout the day so that we can be in tune with our natural circadian rhythms. These can be beneficial for many of us, especially in these winter months where for many of us the hours of sun are minimal. Make sure you take some time out of your day, connect with nature when you can, and allow your body to get some Vitamin D from the sun.
3) Protect yourself as best as possible from modern technology and turn off wireless when it is not being used. No doubt you have read or know about the negative affects that all our technologies can have on our well being. It is important that we do what we can to minimize the affect of these technologies. There are gizmos and gadgets that can minimize the affects of these, it is worth researching. At the same time you can be aware for yourself by minimizing the number of technologies you have running at any one time. Turn off the tv while you work and see how much more productive you feel. If you do not need wireless access while you work, turn off the modem on your computer. Look around your room, what other technologies could be interfering with your wellness?
4) Get on outside and get yourself some fresh air. Nature provides the best environment, that is why we need to protect it, be grateful for it, and experience the gifts it has to offer. Throughout your day, do what you can do to take a 5 minute break and get on outside for some air. If you live in a city centre and find that difficult to achieve, seek out a good air filtration system. Nikken offers a great system and when I sit in a room with one I can notice the difference, hugely. I am not a Nikken distributor but I can point you in the direction of one that I trust.
5) Drink high quality water. As part of my research for the novel I am writing, I have been living in an abandoned mansion ( it will be central to the story I believe and I am blessed to be able to stay there to learn how the owners would have lived ). I am afraid to drink the water, even filtering won't be enough, even the dog won't drink it. Make sure you are drinking lots of water throughout your day and do what you can to drink high quality water wherever you can. Avoid water from plastic bottles. If you can get access to a high quality filter like the Kangen or Nikken Water Filter, then I can highly recommend those. You will need to do a little research about the water in your area, but it will be worth your time. You can also bless the water you drink. Dr Masaru Emoto demonstrated the powerful effect our intentions can have on the quality of water. Check out this video and see what I mean.
The environment you are in is key to your productivity in your work, especially if you are a highly sensitive individual like I am. When you travel, these principles are even more important to follow, so be sure to plan ahead. As I prepare for my upcoming trip to the UK I am very aware of the need to prepare for this. The town where my parents live has a motto: "May the heavens reflect our labour." It is a factory town. I need to be prepared!
So ask yourself today:
What can I do to make my environment safer and healthier for me?
And, if you have any further insights for my readers, then write them in the comment boxes below.
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11 Reasons People Die With Their Voice Inside Them And What You Can Do To Make Sure It Doesn't Happen To You
I don't want to die with my voice inside me. I have a book burning it's way through my imagination, and I am taking action daily to bring it about. Sometimes it is painful, sometimes it is effortless and joyful. But I have witnessed too many folks stuff their gift down and not share it with the world, and seen the regret it leaves in their hearts. Below are some of the reasons I have witnessed in myself and others in the years gone by, and suggestions for new questions to ask, or actions to take.
1) They don't have a strong enough vision or WHY. When you have a burning desire to make a change in the life of others, you will share your voice even when the greatest of obstacles present themselves. Sure, have a vision for the lifestyle you want to live, but also, hold a vision of the way you want to impact the world with your service. Whether it is building a wellness facility, setting up a healing practice, or writing books, have a clear vision of what you would like to accomplish, and have flexibility with the way it looks. Focus on the feeling you wish to experience within yourself upon the living of that vision. The inner peace, the happiness, the confidence, the compassion, the love. Imagine them in to your reality. Focus on the WHY, the reason that you are doing this. It will stretch you and it will thrill you if you are on track.
2) They don't have a clear vision of who they are being called to become. You may be so afraid of your power and what you can do, that you may shy away from it. You may have noticed so many more bad examples of what people do with their power, that you are turned off by it. What is important is that you get clear on who you want to become when you are in your power and stay focused on that. If you feel that there is too much manipulating in the world, then be clear on the fact that you are offering your work to those who will truly benefit knowing that you are the best thing for them. Otherwise you end up fearing the manipulative side of yourself that remains unclaimed within yourself. Who will you need to become in order to fulfill your vision?
3) They are afraid to be seen or heard because others will judge or criticise them. This is often the toughest for the creative who feels unappreciated for their work, or the intuitive who feels the same, sharing with people who hold different values. Part of your process of mastery is to develop an immunity to these, because you will receive it, like it or not. The question is not whether others will judge you, but how you will handle it, and whether you will judge yourself. Believe in yourself even when it seems like the world does not and you will be able to make waves. Remain free of the opinions of the others and your self esteem on this path will flourish.
4) They believe they have nothing unique to contribute. This is a fear of people in any profession, in any endeavour in life. You are unique and have your own unique spin on things. You are a unique individual with a unique soup of challenges you have overcome and stories to tell. There are people on this planet who are going to be attracted to the authentic you and benefit from the work that you do. So instead of fearing that you are not unique, spend time determining why you are. Keep asking the question until you feel the certainty in it: "What makes me/my message unique?"
5) They believe they don't have enough education. Even those with multiple PhDs after their name struggle with this. If you are intuitively guided to seek out more education, then seek it out and do it, but you do not want to do it from a place of believing you don't have enough formal education. Ultimately it comes down to your own confidence in yourself. It takes daily positive self talk to guide you in to becoming that person you want to become. I have worked with many who have degrees our the yin yang but lack the confidence to get their message across. If you have education, what aspect of it did you enjoy most and how can you apply that to the work that you do? There is always more to learn, but that should not prevent us from taking steps forward on our path.
6) They don't want to have to promote themselves. With the advent of the internet, the possible ways of sharing your passions, creativity and expertise with the world have increased exponentially. Whether you are an author published with a major publishing company, or you have a healing or holistic health business, you will need to promote and sell yourself and that is something a lot of people don't like to hear. It is usually because of what they believe about salesmen and marketers. There are thousands of marketing professionals out there who can guide you on your path. What you need to ask yourself is, "Who is the best coach to help me with the success of my vision." Martin Luther King and Gandhi were incredible promoters, not of themselves, but of their cause. But they also had to believe they were the right person for the job. You need to be the best promoter of your personal gift, and believe that you are the person to share it with others.
7) They don't believe they have enough time. If your vision is important enough to you, you will find and create the time to make it happen, even if it is 15 - 20 minutes a day in the beginning. And if it is something that your heart truly wants to do, then it will not feel like a burden. You would be able to do it in the middle of the night if you had to, like I did in writing this blog when the inspiration hit me at a ridiculous hour. What time wasters can you eliminate from your schedule? How much time can you dedicate to your passion? Once you have answered these questions, you will then be able to find ways to bring it in to your schedule. I have seen the busiest of single moms able to follow their calling and still maintain healthful relationships. It requires an honest evaluation of how you are spending each moment of time, but it is amazing what time we can find when we are committed.
8) They don't have enough money. The other big deterrent for many. Keep your day job, while you build your passion. At some point you will have to make the leap, but listen to intuition and the guidance of others. Some of my early mistakes were made by jumping ship too early. Gratitude really is the practice that will make the difference here. The more you are able to look at what you have in your life and appreciate it, the more that you will be able to create your future from a mindset of abundance versus a mindset of lack. When you create from this space you welcome in new opportunities with ease, you feel more at peace in your day to day, and you recognise that you have enough of the spiritual qualities that really make a difference to create in your outer world.
9) They have to wait until xyz happens. Too many people say they will start working on their true calling when xyz happens. The trouble is for a lot of people, xyz never happens. What small step can you take today? Don't fall in to the trap of getting completely overwhelmed with all that needs to happen in order to bring about your vision. Remember that you will get there by taking one step at a time. What is the next step you need to take to bring about your vision?
10) They are paralysed by a fear of failure. If you are like me, and most who have achieved success, then you will make mistakes along the way. We cannot fear making mistakes, we cannot fear the failure, if we are to achieve anything in this short life of ours. If at this time you fear failure, acknowledge it, and remind yourself that the past does not equal the future. Just because you failed in the past, does not mean it will happen this time. Forgive yourself for your previous failures if you blame yourself. What were the gifts in your failures? When you can adopt this attitude moving forward you will no longer fear failure, you will seek to find the valuable lesson in it.
11) They believe nobody will value the work. Others will value your work when you value your work. You may be surrounded by friends who are as equally gifted as you, or in the same space in life as you. So nothing you give them may seem to make a difference. Again, you may feel unappreciated. We tend to surround ourselves with likeminded people, so no wonder you can feel that way, if you are talking to the converted. Think back to who you were 3 years ago, even 6 months ago. Who are the people who would benefit from your gifts and services? They are who you were at one point. Who values your work? These are completely different questions that will pull you in a completely different direction. They are likely not your close circle of friends, but an altogether new group of people who you can truly benefit.
Your voice is a great healing gift to the world, but if you are letting any of the above stop you from taking action today, you are depriving the world of your gift. If you have not been able to affect the lives that you want to, you need to ask some new questions, take some new actions. Seek out guidance from another who can begin to support you so that your gift can and will benefit others. But please, please, please, don't die with your voice inside you, your gifts are needed on this planet now, more than ever.
Learn ways to overcome your self criticism, fear of failure, and build your confidence to become an inspiration to others as you share the healing power of your voice. Through skype sessions or in person meetings I am here to support with my coaching practice. Contact me here to receive a complimentary coaching session so that you can get clear on the next steps you can take to step in to your vision.
” I consider working with Matthew to be one of the greatest gifts I’ve received in this life.
I am a deeply intuitive and spiritual woman and I do often feel isolated because of that. I’ve also experienced the difficulty of finding some one who I can trust to help me and to understand all the intricacies of being how I am.
I’ve found Matthew’s coaching style to be effortlessly natural and spot on the money when it comes to quickly identifying the core issues troubling me. Then I’ve watched week after week as old patterns that have plagued me my whole life fall away as easy as breathing.
Matthew is incredibly kind. He is I think the most non-judgmental and self responsible person I have ever met. His openess and ability to just be so human about it all gives space for the miraculous to happen. His intuition is very strong and his knowledge comes from already having done the work himself."
Cary Rae Biem
In a very short while I will be embarking upon another grail quest, travelling the hills and valleys of England and other European destinations. I have been listening to strong calling to spend some time in the land of my birth, and yet it is not altogether clear why. Do you ever get those hunches? Well that is what is partially guiding this venture. I have yet to see many locations around the world - Egypt, Macchu Picchu, Hawaii, India, Australia - but my own country calls me more strongly at this time than any other.
We have plans, and we have allowed room for spontaneity. The grail knights who achieved the grail did so by listening to the silent whispers of their intuitive self. When we follow our heart, we experience great joy, and learn many valuable lessons.
Here are 4 reasons what my intuition is guiding me. Do you relate to any?
1) I am certain that I will be reconnecting to my teenage self. I am writing a novel for teenagers. To return to the land where I spent my teenage years would seem perfect as the place to activate the memories of what it meant to be a teenager, the things that I feared, the things that I loved, the dreams that I had, so that I can relate more authentically to them. Just thinking of the years I spent in Cambridge, I am reminded of many joyful experiences and places where I spent my time. And then I think of the years as a teenager in Scunthorpe, which seemed darker to me in some ways, but equally inspiring for the writing of my book. So, in part, I am going there to awaken aspects of myself that are enhancing the creativity of my book.
2) I love the history of England and appreciate it more as an adult than I ever did as a child. And yet I know that what was recorded in history books was not always the truth, or at least the full truth. Now I seek to return to learn more HERrstory. The stories of the Grail Knights is the story of mans quest for the divine feminine within. The Grail story is ultimately one of an inner quest that we embark upon, and yet we have missions to fulfill in the outer world in service to humanity. Whether metaphor, conspiracy or truth, there is much that I have yet to discover that will again support the writing of my book, to add an element of fun and adventure that I believe will come from first hand experience. Glastonbury Tor, Stonehenge, Avebury, Rosslyn Chapel, Tintagel - they all hold a fascination for me that I have had since childhood when imagining myself as the knight in shining armour.
3) I believe that any adventure calls us to meet our shadow sides with the light that burns within us. Just because we have a dream and a vision and focus on positive thinking, does not mean that we will manifest it. When we shine a light in a dark room, sometimes ugly things reveal themselves. The knights who ultimately found the Holy Grail were the ones who shone the light on their own darkness, and also upon the darkness in the land; the greed, apathy, lustfulness, deceit, killing etc. Lancelot was the famed and revered knight who failed to find the Holy Grail, and after the victory of his son Galahad, committed his life to serving in other ways to make up for his failings of pride and vanity. As I embark upon this journey I am aware of the challenges that I may face on this journey, mainly from within myself. My interest in past and future lives, and how they relate to the present moment, is one that has been a deep motivation behind this journey. In following the synchronicities I am finding much about ancestors and learning how to be more fully authentic to myself in the present moment.
4) I am co-creating awesomeness with my love. Years ago I created a vision board and imagined travelling lots with someone that I loved, and one day even bringing the family around with me. The family is still a way off, but Nicole and I loved that when we came together, we had very similar ideas for where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do. There are two questions that we all ask: "Where am I going? and "Who am I going with?" For years I had been getting clear on where I was going, and when it became clear, this wonderful lady showed up! Now, we are travelling and hosting events together as we travel, and I could not be happier ( if you are in the UK or France let us know if you want to pop by and host one in your area, we may be able to fit it in ). We have similar values, similar joys and love each other very much. She has been a great gift in my life. This is something I have been intending for years, so of course I am going to listen to that calling!
So these are some of the reasons that I am choosing to return to my homeland at this time. I will be back! Vancouver Island is too beautiful an island to stray away from too often. If you are one who remains behind in North America, be sure to follow our travels as we blog and post about them.
Always follow the guidance of your heart and be at peace with the not knowing.
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Stop asking this question, please!!!! It is disempowering you and everyone that you utter it to. And I know that many of you ask it every time you think of putting your work out there, your art out there, your book out there.
Here are some thoughts for you to ponder over, so that you can step more fully in to your power.
The most popular people in the world have haters. Look at the new president of the USA. He has his lovers but he has his haters. Gandhi had his haters. Martin Luther King had his. They stayed in the power of love, the only way to counteract the force of hate. When people hate you, love them back. Not always the easiest with some of the people we meet, but these are the very words you would have heard from MLK and Gandhi. You have to love yourself immensely. Not in an arrogant way, but a deep true love and acceptance of who you are. If you do not love yourself, other peoples hatred of you will overpower you. If they hate you because of your skin colour, your sexual persuasion, your academic excellence, then love yourself deeply for these. The ones who have the greatest level and self-esteem love themselves regardless what others think of them.
Somebody may like you today and hate you tomorrow. If you have been following their rules all your life, and decide to live by a higher truth, you may trigger their hatred or their resistance as you change. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you. That is what they would have you believe. If you are listening to your intuition, if you are following the path that you know you are being called to follow, if you are shining the light on darkness in your life or the world, know that this will trigger others who wish to remain ignorant. Carry on regardless.
Be willing to acknowledge your shadow. Sometimes, others may speak the truth of you, and you may not like it. You may react to it. We all have a shadow side, the side of us that is dark, the side of us that we do not want the world to know about us. Blaming others, projecting our anger about it on to the prominent figures in our world, will only cause us to remain stuck in it. We need to fully own it for ourselves, accept that it is part of us, and choose to change it. Welcome the feedback from a coach, mentor, or spiritual guide who has your highest good at heart. If they see your shadow and are sharing it with you out of love, welcome it as a gift on your path. If you don't, you can end up having life experiences where the world shows you quite plainly that it exists within you. Seek out the support of a counsellor or psychotherapist who can help you.
What if people love you? What if people are inspired by you? Ask these questions instead. Because truly, when we are standing in our power, being truly authentic to ourselves, we will attract both lovers and haters. Thank them both, because they are both there to remind us of who we are. The people who have changed the world did not care whether people loved or hated them, they did what they knew they had to do. And none of them were perfect, just ask their families! But they stepped out because they knew it was their highest calling to do so, they did it because they knew in their heart that it was the way love was seeking to express itself through them. They served selflessly, without want of reward or recognition, but willing to accept what came
Love yourself, believe you are a good person. Many of us in the western world have been conditioned to believe that there is something wrong with us. Ideas such as original sin, the idea that we are as guilty as Adam and Eve, are deeply emblazoned upon the psyche of many of us. We must believe that we are good people if we are to do good things in the world. We must believe that we are doing good in the world, if we are actually to do that. If, deep down, we believe we are sinners and bad people, we can play that out in our lives, and many of our haters may have a good point about us. I believe that we are good people. We have our flaws, we have our darkness or shadow, but if we choose to focus on that, it will only expand within our lives. If instead, we choose to focus on our good qualities, we find that we are able to step out in to the world and make the impact that our hearts desire. Meet the darkness with love, and embrace the light that you are.
"It is our light, not our darkness that scares us."
- Marianne Williamson
You will feel the happiest when you are being authentic to you, when you are clear who you want to become, and being that person in your everyday life. When you conform to the way others want you to be out of the fear that you won't be liked, you end up living in a self created prison. The former path requires greater courage, but to those who follow that deep inner calling the rewards are beyond what they ever imagined.
Have you studied all the strategies of the successful ones, but find yourself holding back, or not having any success? Fear is the biggest stealer of dreams, and those who heckle us only test us. With someone to guide us, someone who has been down a similar path, we can feel more confident about ours.
Coaching is for you if want to tune more into your intuition and ask the questions that will empower you on your path. Gain clarity, overcome inner obstacles and make a difference today. Contact me here to receive a complimentary session.
Whatever your vision for your life, whatever you hope to accomplish, you will find that you have to learn to tame the inner critic in order to create it. We know that we still have an inner critic, when those who are critical of us, affect us and the action we take towards our vision. Their words take over our minds and we end up feeling rather stuck, because at some level we agree with them.
If you are hard on yourself for the small mistakes, how do you treat yourself with the big mistakes? In my past criticism from others was expected. Criticism from myself was guaranteed. Whether I did well at my tasks, or not, the inner critic yapped away. I didn’t know what it felt like to be kind to myself in times of failure. Even when I did a good job, I would convince myself it was not good enough. And naturally, the more mistakes I made, the more I began to fear failure, fearing that I would beat myself up for it, or someone else would.
As a coach, helping hundreds through one-on-one training, and thousands through speaking engagements over the years, it become very apparent how much I was not alone. Criticism has caused people to gain weight. It has caused people to suppress anger and cause all kinds of stresses ( back pain, neck pain etc) in the body. Many people died with their voice unheard for fear of the criticism they might receive. It has ruined relationships that could otherwise have been beautiful.
As I have released criticism from my inner being, I have felt the health of my body improve. I have witnessed people shed body weight, improve joint and muscle health, and feel better about themselves overall. Most importantly I have seen them move forward without the same fear of failure. Gratitude beams out of their eyes. It is powerful to develop an immunity to criticism, and to tame your inner critic.
Here are some simple steps I encourage people to follow to begin to release the hold of criticism on their life.
1) Understand how criticism is different to constructive feedback. Welcome the feedback that is given from someone who wants you to succeed, and criticism from those projecting their own feeling of inadequacy on to you. Feedback empowers you to move to infinity and beyond. My best teachers have shown me great compassion with their feedback, which has sometimes been hard to swallow. But they deliver it in a loving way, that enables me to step into the next greatest version of myself. Many people hear feedback as criticism and prevent themselves from experiencing a powerful moment of growth.
2) If someone criticises you, and you react, some part of you believes this to be true about you. Instead of seeking vengeance or retaliating with criticism of your own, simply thank them, step away and reflect. Don't worry about letting them know how critical they are, they create their own karma, and those who are habitual criticizers tend to be struggling more in life. With a good ol' tapping session we can begin to accept our less than desirable traits within ourselves. We can also use the set up phrase from EFT without the tapping, in the form of a simple statement: "Even though ____________ I completely and deeply love and accept myself."
eg) Someone calls you a snob, and you react. Maybe some part of you believes you are a snob, in fact it is the reason you have not been stepping in to your power, because you notice that in the past it came out more. A lot of introverts have been falsely accused of this, when their snobbishness is actually more related to shyness or lack of confidence in social situations.
"Even though I am afraid that I am a snob I completely and deeply love and accept myself."
How do you know if worked? Wait until someone calls you a snob next time, and see how you react. Now you can assess whether you agree or disagree with them, and can make changes if necessary. If it still charges you up, continue to repeat the above statement or let a coach support you to overcome this.
3) Once you have accepted the trait within you, create clarity about what this is calling you to become or do. Lets say that you were critcised for your writing, someone said that it was lousy, and you agreed wholeheartedly. This is where the power of questions comes in so powerfully. If you want to make improvements on your writing, ask yourself, "What can I do to improve the quality of my writing?" If someone told you that you seemed nervous in a speech, it would seem you are being called to be more confident. If someone said that you were self absorbed, and it was actually true, what could you do to be more focused on giving to others? If someone accused you of being controlling or manipulative and you agreed, how can you be more allowing?
4) Commit to being kinder to yourself in times of setbacks or failures. How does beating yourself up for your mistakes benefit you? You will only remind yourself how worthless you feel. You don't build upon your self esteem by beating yourself up, you build upon your self-esteem by reminding yourself that you are able to make mistakes, learn lessons, and grow from them. Of course, if you notice yourself being hard on yourself, don't beat yourself up for that, you are being presented with an ideal opportunity to be kind to yourself.
An affirmation to repeat, to become easier on yourself, could be something like.
“I am kind and gentle with myself in times of setback and failure. I am willing to listen to my intuition so that I know what to do differently next time. I am good enough."
I have seen people follow these steps and venture more courageously into their new business, a new relationship, or fitness program, because they allow themselves to make mistakes and learn from them. They learn to tame the inner critic and develop an immunity to criticism from others. I look forward to hearing how this supports you on your path!
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