The energy of shame is one that we can allow ourselves to wallow in and believe that we deserve, or is one that we can ignore altogether, stuff down and wait until it creates havoc in our lives. Or it can even be one we are willing to shine the light of awareness on to create more self love in our life. When you are feeling "not good enough" about any aspect of your being, you are tuning in to the vibration of shame.
The vibration of shame is low, it is not in alignment with the vibration of abundance, happiness self-love, or peace. So, if you are still feeling shame about anything in life, know that it is pushing away that which you wish to manifest, or ability to help others, and reinforces the feeling within you that you are not good enough. And of course that shame pours over in to all areas of life. Many will hide it under a strong sense of pride, only to have it show itself at the worst possible time. It is much better to find the courage within you to love it and find the gift in it.
Releasing our shame means we have to be willing to face it and be vulnerable to another. Vulnerable to someone who can serve our highest good and lead us out of it when we can't seem to ourselves. Choose wisely! We don't want to share our shadow with someone who could use it against us, we need to share with someone who can offer us the compassion and understanding we need, someone whose answers we respect, and someone who is strong enough to tell us the changes that we need to make. In the same way, we are not going to be served by someone who simply tells us how loved and good we are, and does not challenge us to become better. At the same time, many people find that they are actually shaming themselves far more than anyone else would, having known only self-criticism all their life. That is why it is important not to listen to our fears, but to quiet the mind and seek out the best support that we can.
If we dance around our shame, and pretend that it is not there, or stuff it down, we can end up creating more and more situations for which we feel shameful. In meeting that shame head on, with an attitude of love and solution oriented questioning, anchored in our own divine awareness, it can be released and the gift found. I remember the first time a mentor of mine helped me realise that what I was feeling was shame. Until that time I had known that it felt different to guilt, sadness or depression, but had been unable to pinpoint what it was and was afraid to go in and feel it. And I was not feeling supported by those who I felt had not understanding of what I was feeling. By giving myself permission to feel it, I was able to find out why I felt the shame, the belief behind it, and to challenge it and move beyond it. Shames about not being able to take care of myself, to support myself. They were only causing me to do more of the same. It had to do with the sense of failure I felt about myself.
One reason that I see over and over with the people I coach is the shame they place upon themselves for failures of the past that they refuse to let go of. There is a big difference between "I have failed in the past" to "I am a failure". The first is something that happens to all of us, the second is something that we choose to tell ourselves that we are and boxes us in to certain experiences in life. The most successful people speak quite fondly of their failure, knowing that when they sought out the gifts, they were valuable to the growth of their business. When you believe that you are a failure you will not allow yourself to experience success, for you have deemed yourself a failure. And so you may not fear failure at all, because it is all you have allowed yourself. And deep down the truth is that you feel shame for your past failures. Feeling shame for them continues to perpetuate the belief that we are not good enough. Instead, treat the shame as an emotion that is trying to tell you that you have still not found the gift or lesson in that failure. Release the shame ( find someone who can support you and help you identify that shame ). Ask yourself a question: "Who is the most appropriate person to support me in the finding the gift in this situation?" And commit to allowing yourself to know success "I am willing to allow myself to be successful. I will keep working on this until I succeed." Encourage yourself onwards, for you are really the only voice you listen to all the time.
The feeling of not feeling good enough is shame, and it will prevent us from aligning with the life that we want. Feeling anger about our situation is a step up from shame, because at least we are then acknowledging where we are at and can help us focus on who we want to become instead. You are good enough, you were born good enough, and any shame you feel is a result of judgement you were conditioned in to. Some of the words you hear from others may be true, maybe you could be a bit more active, maybe you could support yourself a little more. Sometimes the shame can be projections from others and you need to be aware of that, for it has more to do with another persons interpretation. Many who work a traditional 9 til 5 do not understand the challenges of running a business, and so have no place in shaming you on matters related to that. They do not always understand the time it takes to build a business, or the immense change in mindset needed to build it.
Control of society has been achieved by guilting and shaming people and so it will feel a little uncomfortable as you challenge some of the concepts, but it will free you. Seek out the support of someone who understands shame, and can help you find the gift in it. They will also be able to help you see where you are shaming yourself that you are unaware of. You will find you are much happier in life, whether you are poor or wealthy, busy or quiet at work, failing or succeeding, when you release the hold of shame on your life. You deserve love and compassion, and when you can give it to yourself, you will find the gift hiding behind the shame you have felt. And that is a very powerful kind of freedom when you can live from that place.
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