I have made some costly mistakes in my past, how about you? Mistakes that caused my business to take a nose dive and the debts to pile up. Mistakes that took time, energy, and deliberate intention to be able to change and rectify. Some I am still in the process of rectifying. And I still continue to make mistakes in my work, but as a result am getting better at what I do. The only thing that changed is how I perceive them, and what I do when I make them.

As with anything, the way we deal with our mistakes in building a business can give us a clue at how we are when it comes to the rest of life. Too many people hold back from creating the business they want, because the fear of making mistakes looms over them.

                                         “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
                                                                             
                                                                          ― Albert Einstein

Here is how I deal with mistakes I make, and what I do to make sure I minimise the risk of them in the future.

1) Let go and forgive yourself for mistakes from the past. The world may seem unforgiving, but I have found that the more I forgive myself for my mistakes, the more the world does, and the more I am able to rectify them. Life is a mirror after all. As long as we continue to beat ourselves up for making mistakes, and take on the criticisms from others, the more we are likely to be paralysed in our process. The sooner we can forgive ourselves for the mistakes, the sooner we are able to move forward. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, it can seem like we end up making the same mistakes over and over. If you make the same mistake a thousand times, be willing to forgive yourself a thousand times, even if the world at large doesn't appear to. You can always correct your mistakes, but it's a lot harder if you are still punishing yourself for them. If you are considering # 2, and getting something new from each mistake, then it does not lack value. 

                                                                 “To err is human, to forgive, divine.”
                                                          
                                                          ― Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism


2) What was the lesson that you learned? Behind every mistake there is a valuable insight wanting to be heard. Denying that we have made a mistake, or placing blame upon someone else, will prevent us from hearing the insight. We give our power away. Instead we can reclaim that power by admitting we made a mistake. Sometimes, with humility, we need to admit our mistake to others, so that they can have the opportunity to forgive, and we can have the opportunity to allow someone to forgive us. And eventually you will even be able to find a way to be grateful for that mistake. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it, so why not be grateful for it? Grateful for the lessons it provided, the wisdom embodied. We can find gratitude for even the gravest of errors if we seek out the lesson.

                           “I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”
                   
                                                                         ― Rudyard Kipling


3) Ask better questions before taking your next step. As a result of the mistake you made, you will have further clarity about the most effective questions you can ask moving forward. Asking better questions is what allows us to be open to new answers and new possibilities, and to do our best to succeed in the future. If we keep asking the same question - eg) what is wrong with me? - we are inclined to keep getting similar results. When we ask ourselves, "What can I do differently next time?" we open up to a whole new experience of life. We need to keep fine tuning our question asking process so that we can get greater clarity about what we need to do next. Making mistakes often allow us the opportunity to fine tune those questions, so we need to be ok with making mistakes.

4) Eliminate the fear of making mistakes. The more we fear making mistakes, the more that we are likely to create situations where making a mistake is costly to us in some way. Alternatively you may be paralysed, unable to take the next step forward, out of that fear, and never claim the abundant life that is waiting for you. Recognising that making mistakes is part of the journey, is key to our enjoyment of it. We dance with our fear of making mistakes, by being kinder to ourselves when we do, and by focusing repeatedly on the outcome we want, instead of the outcome we don't want. Don't stuff your fears down and pretend that they don't exist. List off the mistakes you fear making. And from that, get clear on your intention of what you want to do. Some folks fear that the work they do will inadvertently harm someone. Minimise the chances of that happening by getting clear on the fact that your intention is to truly help, and help those you know you can help. Others fear that they will lose money when making mistakes. Instead invest your energy in an intention to create money doing what you love and asking questions like: "What would it take for me to make money serving people in the highest possible way." And of course, be ok with loss, because that happens along the way too. You leave this earth with nothing but your soul.

5) Tune in to your intuition as you make choices moving forward. Asking better questions, and a healthy visualisation process, work best when we practice deep listening and allow ourselves to hear and trust the voice of our intuition. I used to distrust my intuition immensely, because I made mistakes so often, and put a greater weight on what others were telling me in every situation. Sometimes the voices of others are our guiding light, but sometimes they are the voice of our own fears and we need to be able to discern. I was mistaken to mistrust my intuition, it was my fears that I should not have trusted. Over time I have learned to tune in to my intuition, and trust it more, and through the process of listening to it, have made far better life choices even in the most challenging of moments. That trust was built by creating the intention to trust my intuition, and by the daily practice of meditation in order to calm my mind. It is from a calm mind that I am better able to make the choices that serve the work I am doing. A mind riddled with worry only diminishes the voice of the intuition. Let go of the need to be right, and listen to your intuitive guidance, trust it and it will take you far. There are times when I still do not necessarily hear intuition, but again, it is a mistake I am willing to forgive myself for, so that I continue to hear it in most life situations.

If you have a human aspect like I do, you will be likely to make mistakes as you step more in to the grandest version of yourself. But no success was ever achieved without some mistakes along the way.

The cost of mistakes we make while listening to and following our calling are never as great as the regret we feel when we have not even taken a step in that direction.

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment,   defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”
     
                                                                     ― Paulo Coelho, Brida


What is a mistake that you have made recently? What lesson did you learn from that mistake? Your experiences are a gift to others. If you feel inclined to practice a little humility and share your lessons with others in the comment box below, I know that it will help others greatly.

MOVE BEYOND ANY OBSTACLE AND CREATE THE SUCCESS YOU DESIRE

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I have just concluded a play-cation, stroke research adventure for some work that I have been doing, paying close attention to the moments of serendipity that seem to be guiding me. It is the manifestation of something that I dreamed of long ago, when working with my first business coach. I had the pleasure of enjoying it in the company of my beloved, who wanted to visit many of the same sites, and enjoy the adventure along with me. I have been on many adventures on my own, but this worked out above and beyond my expectations. I even got unexpectedly whisked up in the magic of one of my sources of inspiration, JK Rowling. Sure, we created some clarity for what we would do differently next time, but I can only sit back with a smile upon my face, and a grateful heart. And I want to share some tips on how you can do that too!

1) What does a day in the life look like for you, 1 year from now, 2 years, 3 years from now? It began with a look at my life 6 years ago, deciding what wasn't working, and getting clear on what was working and what I wanted to experience still. And also stretching myself from where I was at and the life that I appreciated, to allowing myself to dream of the ideal life. A life that involved travel with my beloved ( who I had not met at that time), researching, writing, meditating, exploring sacred wisdom, and having some good ol' fashioned fun. Too many people end up focusing solely on one area - relationship, work, finances, health and fitness etc - whilst ignoring others. When you create that ideal day in your mind, allow yourself to create the ideal in all areas. I did, and over the years I have created the clarity that I needed and watched it manifest before my eyes.

2) Time travel to that place and time and imagine yourself living that life. From a quantum physics perspective, when you visualise, it is as if you are choosing a particular outcome in the space time continuum, and from that point, your subconscious mind can guide you there. I like to role play. As I am working on a book at the moment, I imagine myself already having the book published, of the book signings, of the faces of all those I am able to serve with my work, and even the testimonials that people will write. I know that I will feel grateful then, so I bring that gratitude in to the present moment, I live in the wish fulfilled. It is fun, it is what children do all the time, and as long as you stay in the realm of possibility, you will enjoy the process.

3) Let go of needing to know exactly how it will look. The whole imagination process is interrupted the moment we attempt to figure out how that vision will manifest. When you create that ideal life in your mind, you will not necessarily know how you are going to create it. I didn't know who it was I would be doing it with, how I would make the money, or even what I would be doing for work, I just had a strong desire to live that kind of life. That's the starting point. From there, you can ask the questions, and providing you stay open minded, you will allow yourself to stumble upon answers that you never even knew existed! You can work backwards. Once you make that decision, as the famous quote states, you will draw to you all kinds of solutions and possibilities where before you only saw obstacles.

4) Don't take no for an answer. I saw very few examples of people who were traveling around in my line of work, with their
beloved at their side. So I knew that I had to change my perception if I wanted to create that reality. I kept asking myself: What if I found someone who wanted to travel the same as me and work while doing it? And I was willing to challenge the belief systems that no longer served my purpose, the ones that were holding me back. Often I would recognise them when others around me reflected it back to me. We don't have to eliminate all the subconcious beliefs, I believe that there is a higher power watching over our transformation that works behind the scene without us even knowing, who does a great job for us provided we put in effort. But when you observe destructive belief systems governing your life, be willing to challenge them, and tell yourself what you want to believe instead. And if necessary, tell yourself over and over again.

5) Always ask questions that move you in the direction of your goal. Every time you have a moment of contrast, when something shows up that doesn't feel good, you can respond in many ways. The truly wise will respond evenly to amazing events and disparaging events, and we need to give ourselves a chance to be able to reach that level of wisdom, which we do so by mastering our emotions. As we ascend in our consciousness we will experience the myriad of emotions and be presented with opportunities to accept and appreciate every experience. From this point of contrast though, you have been gifted with an opportunity to get really clear on what it is that you want. At one point in time I asked myself the questions: "How can I travel the world and make money legally while I do so?" This has lead to solutions being presented to me as I travel. "Who wants to travel to the same places as me and work while doing so?" The list of questions can be endless, but so are the possibilities, when it comes to the answers.

6) You will have setbacks and celebrations along the way. Maybe you will temporarily experience relationships that pull you away from the direction you intend on going. Maybe life will throw other challenges your way. Maybe you will screw up and have to forgive yourself. But life supports us, when we support ourselves, truly. Through a process of self-realization we discover the path that is authentic to our journey in life, and when you follow that I can guarantee that life will flow more effortlessly. It is about aligning with the desires of our heart, not the programming we receive from advertising about the way our life should look. This is your life, you are the director, who do you want the supporting actors to be to the lead role? Neale Donal Walsch first enlightened me when saying that there are two questions that we all ask in life: 1) Where am I going? 2) Who am I going with?  Unfortunately what happens, is that many of us ask the second question first and end up trying to form a life around that. I enjoyed a number of relationships which did not work out. I made some mistakes, and was not always happy with how I was as a person in those relationships. Then I got clear on where it was that my heart genuinely wanted to go, and through that process, and moments of wonderful serendipity I met my beloved. We each have our individual karma to play out, and what I will say is that if this and the above steps do not seem to be working yet, they will, perseverance and a deep desire to succeed will get you there in the end. Meet your shadow with love.

Look at every challenge as an opportunity, and find the gift in every setback, and in time you will find your way. I have enjoyed a wonderful time traveling with Nicole, and it has been followed by many on places like facebook. For both of us it has been a journey to meet at that point together. Many others who are close know of the pains that I have experienced on the journey, looking to create that clarity. And I would not trade any of it in! All the amazing relationships I have had have taught me so much about life, and I feel deep love and gratitude for all who have been a part of my journey. Sometimes I have had to search a little deeper for that love and gratitude, but I know that holding on to pain, resentment, anger, guilt and shame only push our dreams further away.

I hope that my sharing has inspired you to get clear on the life you want to live. I may not have the book finished yet, but there are many parts of my dreams that are already in place, and I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life before. And it is possible for each of us, as long as we remember that nothing or nobody outside of us is the source of our happiness. They are great additions, and inspire it in us though!

A life of wonder awaits, do you trust yourself and life enough, to open the door?

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If you are an energy healer, writer, or anyone setting up a holistic health practice, and are unsure of how best to share your work with others, contact me for a complimentary coaching session in which I can show you how you may be sabotaging yourself and what you can do to ensure that you are delivering the message to others about yourself that you want to deliver. 

It is a mind-body-spirit approach to marketing and PR.


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