Fewer Expectations, Less Anxiety
Expect the best, but don't get stuck on what that looks like. I believe we can receive the desires of our heart, but we need to be aware of our expectations, and which ones may be creating unnecessary anxiety. Sometimes, you will get better than what you asked for, have it fulfill all your desires, and be nothing like you expected it to look like. And of course, if sainthood is a goal of yours anytime, then letting go of all and every expectation is part of the way to it.
The expectations we place upon ourselves and others benefit from regular inventory. All those "should's" which can get in the way of us being happy with the way things are right here right now, and which actually block the manifestation of even greater gifts.
In this article I want to share how I deal with them when they arise in my consciousness. Works for me. Try it out. See how well it works for you.
Examine the "Should's" That You Are Holding On To
What expectations do you have about what your life should look like by now? Where did you envision yourself being at this point in your life? What kind of home, family, career, relationship? How is Law of Attraction apparently failing or working for you?
You can tell what the should's are because at some level you will feel disappointment they are not happening for you yet. You may be telling yourself it is not the case, denying you feel any expectation, because at some level you believe you have no expectations any more, that you are liberated, and "should" not feel disappointed. Maybe that is so, but be really honest with yourself, most of us still have desires we wish to fulfill. Life is about bringing the subconscious and conscious minds in to harmony, and that is not achieved when we deny our deepest desires. Suppressed desires are what make up our shadow, admitting it is a desire, and shining the light awareness upon it, is what liberates us.
An example is the man who is on a deeply spiritual path, seeking the simple life, but at the same time is unconsciously concerned what others will think about the lifestyle he lives. When I was enjoying the success and media acknowledgement of the GratiDudes, I harboured these fears about what people would think because I didn't have what I thought I should have as someone living a successful life. And at the same time, I thought that I should be living simply. My expectations were at odds with one another, creating misery within me.
Be honest with what you expect of yourself and others, then be willing to release those expectations.....
Consciously let go of them.
Once you have identified the expectation, you can release them. You may have a list that looks something like the one below.
"I should have more money by now."
"I should be not be eating any meat, I am a raw food expert!"
"I should have the house and car that make me look successful."
"I should be in the fifth dimension by now."
"I should not think any negative thoughts."
One way that you can release these expectations is through the Emotional Freedom Technique. It is something that I guide people through and explain in one-one situations. It is beyond the scope of this article to guide you through the process. If you know the process, tap away!
Another way it can be done is through a visualisation process. I think of the expectation that I have, and I offer it on up through my third eye, imagining it being taken far away from my mind. I release any judgement of it, accepting it as simply a thought within my consciousness. The practice of yoga helps us to burn through these desires. Some will burn away and come to nothing, the thought never occurring again, some will be lived out as a gift from God.
Accept what is.
When we fight our life as it is, we create stress and anxiety. Look at your present situation and embrace it fully, exactly as it is, and seek the gift in this moment right here. Be aware of the resistance that you feel to it. When you accept it, it does not mean that you won't change it, you just prevent anger and resentment building up within your heart.
"What we resist persists."
When we can accept the situation, we are at peace within ourselves, and are able to more fully hear the guidance of the voice of our intuition.
When you expect joy, you can create it from within, in any situation, anywhere, anyhow. You can make it your best day ever by simply choosing to make it so. That means, even when the crap shows up, you will find even a little spark of heaven in it, because you expect it to be there.
If you have a strong desire to create something, expect it. In time it will appear ( though I am not saying it will be in this lifetime), provided you put in the self effort to align vibrationally with it, and take the action you are guided to take.
My kriya yoga practice has been deepening and taking me on a journey I could never have imagined. Like any journey I have met with resistance from my mind inside, and the world outside, especially as a I surrender more fully to the guidance of my guru. I recognise that all those who would discourage me from the path are doing so with their mind, and mirror the workings of the resistance within my own mind.
"You can enter yoga, or the path of yoga, only when you are totally frustrated with your own mind as it is. If you are still hoping that you can gain something through your mind, yoga is not for you."
As you embark upon your spiritual journey, you may come across the same thing, especially if you are being called to the guidance of a guru. People in your life may fear for your choice because they are not informed of it, projecting their own experiences or doubts upon you, possibly because of news items they read about cult leaders. They may simply want you to follow their path, to fulfill some desire of their own. I realised for me that I was attracting these people, or remembering the words of these people, because I had a fear of being manipulated again. Having grown up in, and subsequently having walked away from a religion, I had no plan of being manipulated by another, but had walked from one teacher to the next, finding only disappointment. As I have released these fears from within, through my yoga practice, I have realised that this is my guru, and I can trust the wisdom and guidance he offers, recognising that the true power lies within me.
'It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.'
- Bagavad Gita
It also helps me to surrender more fully, when I remember the prayers I was offering at the time I attracted my guru in to my life. I had prayed daily to know God for some time, and in time my guru revealed himself. Other gurus had shown up, but none had drawn me in the same way, and I trusted the feeling I had. I recommend you trust yourself in this too. Whoever you have attracted as a guru is here to serve you and you have a journey ahead with them. Discernment is needed of course. As I began to commit more to knowing my guru, others attempted to discourage me from the path, believing they had found a better path, and that I should walk it.
Remember, each person who offers discouragement or criticism, is there to challenge your commitment. Every hero faces the gatekeeper at the crossing of the first threshold of their adventure, the one who would warn them from continuing on the adventure. Maybe they do have something valid to share, which you should listen to. When faced with this, go meditate, go practice your discipline, and know your truth for yourself.
"Through practice, I've come to see that the deepest source of my misery is not wanting things to be the way they are. Not wanting myself to be the way I am. Not wanting the world to be the way it is. Not wanting others to be the way they are. Whenever I'm suffering, I find this war with reality to be at the heart of the problem.
- Stephen Cope
Nobody can judge your path unless they have walked it. Only you know of the experiences you have had in the depths of your meditation. You have had your own experience with God. Those who judge the path have likely not had the depth of experience with it, or simply it is not for them. They may be bang on track on their path to God, or they may be addicted to the power of the mind. I know I was, and that is what I am detoxing from as I go through this transition in my life.
The great ones all say that beyond the mind lies the true gift of yoga and I like the sound of that, because my mind has not solved as many challenges in my life as it would like to believe.
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