Throughout my years in the field of holistic wellness I have seen all types of salespeople, and have been many types myself. I have been the kind of person that I despised, so much so that once I actually had to sit down on stage when I was selling to a group, and contemplate the morality of the method I was using. A method I learned from coaches with good reputations, a method they convinced me were authentic, but which I still did not feel good about.
Fearing that we will become the manipulator, the shadow side of the magician or healer archetypes, stops us from sharing the great gifts that these archetypes bestow upon the world.
Here are some suggestions that I have for you so that you can feel better about yourself when persuading others of the value of your work and the knowledge you possess.
1) Let go of the need to change people's minds. This does not mean that you don't try and persuade them, but that you are unattached to the outcome. Many people who discover what they know to be their truth, will get incredibly frustrated when they are unable to persuade another of that truth. Others will get frustrated or angry when they have a narcissistic need to be needed, believed, or followed. If your great gift of persuasion does not convince someone that they need to come with you, let it go. Some people are unwilling to change, unwilling to believe new science, and unwilling to do the inner work. Some may just have a different path with a different healer waiting for them. Let them be, and you will start attracting people you do not need to change, because they will want to change themselves, and that working with you feels right to them. This can be something that those of us brought up with religious indoctrination ourselves may need to let go of. Simply say: "I let of the need to change other people's minds!" The true yoga gurus are unattached to you following or believing them, they simply serve without attachment to the results. When we can truly do this ourselves, we become more effective at persuading others, and are less likely to become the manipulator.
"You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action."
- Bagavad Gita
2) Only share it with them if you know it is truly in their best interest. This requires integrity. I remember a moment in my life when I was penniless, and a client was standing before me asking for personal training, but in my heart I knew one of the other trainer's would be a better choice for them. Thankfully my honesty paid off, she referred four other people on to me. Check in with yourself. You have a powerful intuition. Let go of the fear that they won't buy, that you won't be able to pay the bills, that you won't be able to "save" them. From this place of mindfulness, you will know in your heart whether or not what you offer is best for another. And even if you know it is best, remain unattached to them agreeing with you.
3) Be honest with people. Many people will come to a healer because at some level they are still looking for the instant fix. Tell them that they will have to do the inner work, tell them that they may experience some uncomfortable emotional release, and that it may take a number of sessions. Those who appreciate the effort, will appreciate your honesty. Those who don't appreciate the effort required on their part may not come, but you will know you did the right thing. I was training a girl at a gym once, and I knew in my heart that she would need more than one session, but she said she only had enough for one session, so I buckled. It was only during the session that I found the courage to tell her she needed more sessions, and she rightfully accused me of manipulating the situation. It was a painful lesson, but thankfully one I have not repeated. If you intuitively know that it will take a minimum number of sessions, let the prospective client know before they sign anything.
4) Be transparent about your processes. There are parts of the process they won't understand, or don't need to understand in order to benefit from the healing. If you tell them that they won't understand, they are likely to mistrust or feel offended. If you withold information from them so you can make more money, they will pick it up unconsciously, even if they don't perceive it consciously. Buyers are very aware in the modern world. You can tell when someone is first and foremost about the money, right? The kind of client that will benefit from your work is very self aware. If your intention is to serve others, help them build their knowledge bit by bit, and know wholly and completely that what you are offering will serve them, they are more likely to buy from you. Give them the basics that will help them make a decision. Articles or videos about the benefits of energy healing will help your case, and leverage your time. You do not have to give away the whole kit and kaboodle, because some of the information will not be needed for them to make a choice. They may come, they may not, either way you will know that you are being transparent, and that is appreciated.
5) Trust yourself. As long as you can trust yourself, and you know this deep within, it matters not what others think about you. Some will project their own trust issues on to you, and no matter how trustworthy you are, will shoot you down. At the same time willing to receive the input of a mentor or guide you yourself trust to help you. Someone who sees your shadow without judgement, but who will keep you accountable to the highest version of yourself. You create yourself anew in every moment. Do you want to be someone that others trust? Trust yourself, and remind yourself of it often. A trustworthy person is someone that people know they can buy from confidently, and the more you demonstrate it to them, the more the people you can serve will see it.
Acknowledge your fear of becoming a manipulator, and take these steps in your business, and let me know what happens for you. Instead of focusing on what you don't want to be, you can focus on what you do want to be. You are a powerful healer and master of magic in this world, and shining the light on your shadow is the way to marketing your healing business with integrity. It always comes down to the inner work. Heck you know that. Choose love.
If you are still stuck, a complimentary coaching session with me will set the process going and give some intuitive insights for what may be blocking you. If it seems it is a match, and you need more sessions, we can arrange it, but there is no obligation to sign up for anything. I can guarantee that I will be intuitively guided to give you some good ahas even if you just do the one session, and I will only recommend sessions if I really believe you will benefit from them. Is that transparent enough?
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