If you are like many people with a creative or spiritual business, you may feel like you are going unnoticed, or not making the difference you want to make in the world. You can either stamp your feet because nobody is investing in your services or buying your books. Or, you can get clear on whether the action you are taking is really going to allow you to achieve the reach that you desire.
I am all about empowering people on their journey, and something that I see over and over again is that unconsciously people do not want to be seen. And I am talking about the authentic version of them, not the fake version that society is more likely to accept. They believe it is not safe for them to be seen, because if they are seen they will be judged, they will upset others through their work, or they might say the wrong things on an interview. With this subconscious fear playing out underneath the surface, it is no surprise that many authors, energy healers, or spiritual coaches/mentors do not make the impact they want to make. And of course, if these fears are present in you as you write a book or market your wares, then you may find yourself writing a book that deserves to be hidden from the world, or marketing material that will ensure you stay hidden.
If, subconsciously, we do not want to be seen, we will do things that guarantee that we will never be seen. We will invest our time in advertising and marketing that won’t work, while at some level we will think we are investing our time and money wisely. We will sabotage opportunities for exposure for our books, all because we are not truly being honest about our fear.
Now your goal may not be the international stage, but in my early days of fearing being seen, I could not even watch videos of myself, I was judging myself too harshly. Now I can sit comfortably and watch myself speaking on TV or video interviews, and as a result I am able to improve upon my skills. It was always about the authentic me. I could be seen when it meant being what others wanted me to be, but when it meant being the authentic me, and that is the challenge for all of us.
This is why it is always important to be honest about our fears, at the very least to voice them to ourselves, so that we don’t block our awesomeness and highest potential. It will be worth having a little conversation with you when nobody is looking. The conversation could go a little something like this.
What would be the down side of you actually being noticed in the world?
Many authors scoff at this, “Of course I want to be seen”, they say. But through my years of coaching I have learned that it is not what they say out loud that matters, but what they tell me by their body language, and the subconscious beliefs. Maybe you wrote a book about something that has not been validated by science and you are from a family of scientists. Many people who run energy healing businesses or other spiritual services, fear that others will think that they are weird, or that their work is hokey, instead of focusing on educating people on why it is awesome. That could limit how much exposure you might "want" to get, for fear of being shut down by someone. Maybe there is something that happened in your past that you don’t want people to find out about. What if people don't like you? Whatever it is, you need to make yourself aware of this. It is ok to have fears, it is not ok to let them run the show. Even if you never admit to them to anyone else (which isn’t that helpful because someone who has been where you are going can alleviate many of your fears through new awareness), you need to admit them to yourself. If you don't admit them you will either take poor action, or no action at all.
What do you need to do to change your inner dialogue?
If there is something that you are afraid might come out if you are seen in the public eye, then you need to release your own judgments of yourself and/or sort that issue out now. If you still judge yourself for it, and it does get brought up, it could be painful. If there is something in your personal life that you have not taken responsibility for, or looked more closely in to, I recommend that you do that. If we haven’t found peace with our own shadow (the part of us we want to hide from the world out of shame or guilt), it is more likely to come out in messy ways. Even if being seen, means being seen in your local comunity, it is important to address the fears. For some it is being seen by the world, for some it is allowing themselves to be seen by their neighbour.
What action can you take that will improve your chances of being seen?
This is a question that will guide you to finding solutions that you actually want. If you do not ask this question, and allow your unconscious fears to guide the way, you will unintentionally end up pursuing avenues that keep you hidden from the world. Been there, done that, and it cost me a lot of time and money (but I forgave myself). By asking this question you will begin to find yourself being drawn to different answers and solutions that you may not have noticed before. Or something that you have known about for a while will become an obvious choice; you just have to make sure that you do not avoid it out of fear. It could be publishing a youtube video or blog, or saying yes to that interview that you are afraid of screwing up. We choose the safer paths so often, even if they only lead to greater frustrations. Feel the fear and do it any way!
How can you focus your imagination in a more productive way?
Begin to talk yourself out of your fears. Your imagination is powerful, but when abused it will be used to focus upon all that can go wrong, and if the focus is kept there you can end up creating it. Your imagination can be a powerful ally, I mean look, it helped you (or is helping you) create your book or the business you have created up until this point. You can use that same imagination to imagine a more fun and thrilling ride, rather than a fearful one where we end up feeling paralyzed. What do you want your public life to look like? Imagine yourself as confident, funny, loving life, exuding integrity and consciously step into that role. Persuade yourself that you are that person and then persuade the world, not the other way around.
As always, remember that the vision you have is one that is within your reach, it will require you learning a few lessons about yourself along the way, and stepping into the greatest version of yourself. And if you don’t allow yourself to see your magnificence in the privacy of your own home, don’t be surprised when the world doesn’t notice either. Give yourself permission to be seen as your authentic self!
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